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Many were husbands and boyfriends; just over half were either married or in a relationship with a woman. Research published in found that the numbers of men who pay for sex had doubled in a decade. Another told me that he felt "disappointed — what a waste of money", "lonely still" and "guilty about my relationship with my wife".
In fact, many of the men were a mass of contradictions. Despite finding their experiences "unfulfilling, empty, terrible", they continued to visit prostitutes.
I interviewed 12 of the men, and found it a fascinating experience. To a third person it looks like we're in love. I felt compassion for Alex. No one had shown him how to form a bond with another human being and he was searching for something that commercial sex was never going to provide. But another of the interviewees left me feeling concerned. Darren was young, good-looking and bright; I asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex.
If she enjoys it I would feel cheated. But they still continued to visit them. More than half admitted that they either knew or believed that a majority of women in prostitution were lured, tricked or trafficked. Another said that he had "seen women with bruises, cuts and eastern European accents in locations where lots of trafficked women and girls are". She told me she had been tricked. I had sex with her and she seemed fine with the sex. She asked me to help her, but I said there was little I could do.
She might have been lying to me. One of the most interesting findings was that many believed men would "need" to rape if they could not pay for sex on demand. One told me, "Sometimes you might rape someone: Half of the interviewees had bought sex outside of the UK, mostly in Amsterdam, and visiting an area where prostitution is legal or openly advertised had given them a renewed dedication to buying sex when they returned to the UK.
Almost half said that they first paid for sex when they were below the age of Maybe he wanted to make sure we weren't gay.
We went to a brothel..